


What am I without you?

by Rosemary_and_Time



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Best Friends, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Death, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, No Romance, Platonic Relationships, Protective TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Toby Smith | Tubbo is Not Okay, TommyInnit Swears (Video Blogging RPF), Traumatized Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28942053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosemary_and_Time/pseuds/Rosemary_and_Time
Summary: SPOILERS for January 20th!Dream smpEveryone arrives a little too late.Tommy and Tubbo face what could be their last day.This was about the discs only as much as it had ever been.  This was about proving that Tommy could face him, that Dream didn’t have absolute control over him any longer.  Getting the discs back would allow Tommy to prove to himself that he wasn’t broken beyond repair.  That Dream wasn’t his puppet master any longer.Getting the discs meant cutting the strings
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), best friends - Relationship, platonic - Relationship
Comments: 68
Kudos: 442





	What am I without you?

**Author's Note:**

> Once more with feeling.  
> CW: swearing  
> TW: Violence and other tags, referenced abuse, manipulation, vaguely referenced suicidal idealization (very vague), self-hatred, negative self-talk

Nothing was different about that particular Wednesday, the wind blows as it will, the trees watch in silence. The stars spin in the sky unbidden, uncaring about what occurs below. 

Yet when Tommy stepped out onto the path that morning there was a strange pressure in the air. 

It was as if the whole world, the very earth itself, was holding its breath. Waiting for something.

Tommy forced himself to release a deep breath through his mouth, slowly watching the chilled air puff up with the steam-like fog, swirling around his face. He huffed a weak smile, hand resting on the doorframe of his home, his first home in the world. He felt slightly foolish as he turned to regard his house warmly.

“I might not see this place again. So, well, goodbye I guess.” He shook his head, blond hair fluffing around his face as he chuckled at himself. So sentimental now. 

“Tommy? Are you ready?” Tommy jolted as Tubbo practically appeared next to him, the smaller boy bounced lightly on the balls of his feet, exuding energy. Even Tommy could see the contrast as he himself stood looking tired and worn. 

“Yeah Tubbo, we’ve gotten all prepared, haven’t we?” He forced hope into his tone, trying to match Tubbo’s exuberance. They had certainly prepared. Both boys had spent day and night getting gear and supplies for the battle they expected to face shortly. Tommy was tired from all the hard work, it was unusual for him to actually go mining and such, usually…

Typically, Tommy would have grifted his way into the gear, relying on his charm and lies to get what he wanted. Or he might have just stolen it outright depending on his mood. Not this time though. Tommy helped Tubbo divvy up the potions and healing apples, golden glow slightly warm against his fingers. He had turned over a new leaf, his mistakes were in the past, and Tommy had done his best to make peace with everyone before today. 

Before they went into battle. 

Before he had to face Dream, the man who-- who tormented him in exile. 

Who made his life hell. Who made him consider… never coming back. It wasn’t easy for Tommy to take the first step, leading the way, following the red arrow of the enchanted compass hung around his neck. But he took that step. 

He took it with his head held high and Tubbo at his side. 

This was about the discs only as much as it had ever been. This was about proving that Tommy could face him, that Dream didn’t have absolute control over him any longer. Getting the discs back would allow Tommy to prove to himself that he wasn’t broken beyond repair. That Dream wasn’t his puppet master any longer. 

Getting the discs meant cutting the strings. 

Tubbo chattered excitedly, eagerly talking about his new axe with all sorts of lighthearted innocence. Tommy knew his best friend was trying to lighten his spirits, and he appreciated it more than he could express. It kept his mind off holes in the ground and helplessness, remembered with every flash of green.

The clatter of thick armored boots on the wooden path was familiar, almost comforting in its rhythm. Tommy focused on looking around, regarding the structures around him with new eyes. This could be the last time he would see them. He paused, Tubbo’s own footsteps halting a bit ahead when his friend noticed he had stopped. 

“Let’s take our time Tubbo, look at everything you know? Since we might not be seeing it again.” Tubbo hopped to his side, nodding solemnly, darker blue eyes earnest. 

“Okay Tommy.” 

They were so caught up in their memories, they almost didn’t notice the haphazard group of people hanging around the path until they were in the midst of them. Tommy froze, eyes wide…

“They came to say goodbye.” He couldn’t help the grin that crept onto his face. They came. They cared. After the total isolation of his exile… it was amazing to see people coming out of their way to see him. 

Tommy greeted everyone with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Several people handed them pouches of last-minute supplies and potions. Tubbo alternated between serious remarks and absolutely chaotic nonsense, but what else could be expected. The brunette seemed surprised that people kept pulling him aside as well, he seemed to think this was meant for Tommy. Still… Tommy felt better as they finally left the city limits. 

People cared. Dream had specified it could only be him and Tubbo meeting him, but that didn’t mean the support of the others wasn’t appreciated. It didn’t mean their friendship wasn’t appreciated. 

Tommy grabbed Tubbo’s hand in his own, giving the other boy a smile before turning to wave at the group as they left. 

“Thank you all. We’ll see you when we get back!” 

Two boys set off to face their fears. 

Despite the anxiety still in his chest, Tommy started to believe for the first time that they could do this. 

With Tubbo by his side he could face anything Dream had to throw at them.

* * *

“Are we there yet?” Tubbo couldn’t help but quip at Tommy as the waves swayed in their rowboat. 

It was his way of keeping things lighthearted, after all. Tommy had seemed so resigned lately, so sure they their goodbyes would be their last, and Tubbo didn’t think that was a good attitude to go into a fight with. Even if he did feel… similarly. 

Tubbo didn’t think they were destined to lose. No, the brunette genuinely believed that they had a good chance at victory! They had gotten so much gear, trained so much for this very moment, how could Tommy think they didn’t? Even though Dream was known to be far superior at combat than either of them, it was still two against one. 

Tommy and Tubbo verses Dream. Just like it had always been.

However… when he had been questioned about it, someone asking if he was sure, about what would happen if they fought and lost… Tubbo was almost surprised to realized he didn’t really care. 

No! That was wrong. Tubbo cared if they lost, he cared if they didn’t get the discs, or worse yet if the discs got burned. Tommy would be so upset, he had gone through so much, both before and during exile. Even though Tommy wouldn’t talk about it much, Tubbo knew Dream had been horrible to him. He knew that Dream had hurt him. So, it really mattered that Tommy could face him! 

Tubbo cared.

He just…

He found himself somewhat apathetic towards the thought of his own death. He didn’t want to die, Tubbo would much rather live on, continuing to build a safe haven in Snowchester. But if it happened... he wouldn’t mind really. He figured it didn’t really matter. 

He had screwed up so much… he was the reason Dream was able to hurt Tommy, he exiled him. He gave him the second disc, even if Tommy told him to, he still did it. 

He let L’Manburg get destroyed. 

Thusly, Tubbo has no second thoughts about marching into battle with Tommy once again. There was honestly nowhere he would rather be than at his best friend’s side. 

Tommy would have faced Dream alone, but Tubbo would never let that happen, not again. 

No, Tubbo was with Tommy whatever happened next. 

As they neared their destination the brunette kept up a steady stream of jokes and encouragements, trying to make Tommy believe that they could win with the same certainty he felt. As a mountain came into view, steep walls rising up, a pillar of indifference to what would occur on its surface, Tubbo finally went quiet. 

Whether win or lose, Tubbo would stand by Tommy. 

It would be worth it.

* * *

Tommy huffed as he finally reached the top of the mountain. 

Could Dream have chosen a more inconvenient place to meet them? Really, this was pretty and all, but it was quite dramatic. He glanced over at Tubbo, the other boy similarly stopping to catch his breath. Full enchanted netherite armor gleamed in the sun, colors dancing across the surface as enchantments vied for position. The blonde’s hands automatically started checking his supplies.

He had potions, bottles arranged in an orderly fashion on his hip. The other side of his belt held the Axe of Peace, sharpened and ready. Two crossbows were fastened to his back, both loaded and cocked, ready to fire one after another. He had golden apples for small amounts of healing and ender pearls….

He had everything. 

Tommy was ready. He straightened, giving Tubbo a last look before they strode around the corner. His best friend met his eyes with a slight smile, nodding encouragingly, bolstering his courage.

“If we see he has the discs on him, we take them.” 

Tommy strode around onto the flat ground, a grassy plateau almost in the clouds. Immediately his heart began to pound faster. 

Dream lounged against a tree, casually sitting on the lid of an enderchest. The man spun a white oval in his hand, gleaming mask twirling effortlessly between his fingers. Tommy looked up into piercing green eyes and almost shrunk. He fought his instincts to cower and apologize, to give up his things, or simply to warmly greet the man who pretended to be his friend. 

But Dream wasn’t his friend. 

The warrior stood at their approach, sliding his mask across his face. He wore his own set of armor, crossed with straps and pouches doubtlessly containing potions and any other manner of tricks. 

“Hello Tommy.” The man, mask now fastened, greeted him passively, not even giving Tubbo a second glance. Tommy hated the attention, hated that he felt fearful, hated that standing in front of Dream, even armored and ready, he still felt helpless. 

“Why have you brought us here Dream?” He asked the question sternly, eyes already scanning the older man for any trace of his discs. 

“Well, I have something you want, don’t I?” 

Tommy gritted his teeth together. Dream was being patronizing, tilting his head in a mockery of innocence. Tommy drew his axe and a speed potion, downing the bitter liquid in a single gulp. Tubbo could be heard drinking beside him. 

Dream chuckled, low and dangerous. Then he jumped, swinging his arms around a low hanging branch of the tree above and tossing himself into the branches. From there he leapt to a pillar of obsidian, stretching several meters above the dirt. He crouched on the top, Tommy saw something flash in his hand, and then he heard it. 

“Mellohi.” Tubbo spoke the word reverently as the tune echoed over the expanse. It simultaneously filled Tommy’s heart and crushed it. Dream stood atop, having covered the jukebox in yet more hard stone, and hummed along arrogantly. 

Tommy felt a fire rise in his chest and welcomed the heat, welcomed the new energy it provided. 

“Oh, you’re fucking going down.” 

They were off in an instant, the two boys like one mind in battle, trained through war and loss. Tubbo circled to the other side of the pillar, looking to climb up to Dream and knock him off. Tommy leapt up the nearest slope and drew his crossbow, eagerly firing the first arrow towards their enemy. 

Dream raised his shield to catch the projectile, drawing his own bow in the same movement. 

The battle was on. 

The two boys desperately tried to make progress towards their prize, dangling tantalizingly close but yet so far out of reach. 

“There! Tommy he’s down!!” Tubbo shouted from atop the pillar, only to be knocked down himself a moment later, an arrow from an enchanted bow burying in his armor. Still the smaller boy tossed himself to his feet easily, his own armor effortlessly withstanding against the blow, even if the force meant he was back on the ground. 

“Keep him away!” Tommy practically screeched as the drew forth a green orb, tossing the precious pearl with steady hands, unshaking in the familiar routines of combat. And then he was standing on top of obsidian. 

“I’m mining it, keep him back!” Tubbo grunted some agreement, cut off as he was forced to take yet another axe swing on his armor. Dream was just too good to fight alone, but the enchantments wouldn’t be spent yet, Tommy had time. He brought the butt of the axe down on the hard crystal, sharpened spike digging in. Again. Again. 

There!

It cracked, an opening visible, tight but…

Just enough.

Tommy ignored how the rough edges scraped his arm, he reached in and pulled the precious disc free. For a single moment he just stood, staring at it in something approaching disbelief. It was mellohi. His disc. He had it. 

“Tommy he’s coming!” Tubbo’s warning came at the perfect time, Tommy twisted and jumped, letting the enchantments on his armor take the impact, willing to spend them to get away. 

“I’ve got it!! I’ve got the disc Tubbo!!” Tommy yelled in elation, pressing it into a pouch in time to block Dream’s next blow with his shield. Tubbo whooped in excitement, charging in behind Dream and forcing the man to turn.

Tommy pressed the advantage, swinging the axe of peace down onto Dream’s shoulder, grinning as the man winced and jumped back. Even though it didn’t cut through, enchantments on the armor strong enough to counter the sharpness, it would leave a nasty bruise. Dream twirled with his own axe, Nightmare. 

The weapon was slightly larger than Tommy’s, cutting edge curved and coming to sharp points at each hook. The warrior jabbed, the extended point of the weapon giving him more variety of moves than a typical axe would. Still Tommy dodged and weaved, only occasionally letting his armor take a blow. Tubbo did the same on Dream’s other side, matching Tommy in their deadly dance. 

Then Dream laughed. Tommy flinched at the sinister bubbling joy in the man’s voice. 

“What are you laughing at!?” Tommy snarled, he was through being pushed around, they were winning. “Tubbo, if we can kill him here, we will have a disc!” 

Dream had all three of his lives, unlike the two of them, so death wouldn’t be permanent. But killing him would whisk him away to respawn, giving them plenty of time to get the disc in an enderchest. Plus, killing him would make Tommy feel pretty damn good. 

“You’re just so funny, Tommy, I haven’t even used a single potion.” 

Tommy felt his eyes dilate. “He could just be saying that!” The shout was intended for Tubbo. He didn’t look convinced. Tommy’s own reserves of potions was running short…

He suspected Tubbo’s were as well, since he had taken the brunt while Tommy claimed the disc. 

“Just stop, both of you, stop fighting.” Dream sounded so fucking smug. Tommy prepared to bring his axe down in an overhead swing, but Dream vanished, having thrown a pearl in the blink of an eye. Both boys turned, facing their opponent with steely determination. 

Dream slid his mask off.

“Look, I’ve got strength potions, speed, everything!” As if to emphasize, Dream pulled out a bottle, drinking the contents and tossing the glass to shatter against a tree. The man grinned, face pulling into a cocky smile, eyes gleaming. He wasn’t hiding any emotions now. 

“Shut up bitch!” Tommy snarled and started forward, only halted by Dream’s laughter. It was infuriating, it was so confident, so… in control. Tommy hated Dream’s laughter. His eyes traced to where the ender chest sat, forgotten. If he got the disc in the chest… it would be safe. He would really have it. He nudged Tubbo lightly, nodding his head towards the chest as subtly as he could. Tubbo nodded back, panting, but smiling proudly.

“Look, Tommy, you’re going to lose. Your armor is going to break down, you’re going to get tired, I’m going to win.” Dream gestured widely, displaying his armor, still gleaming with active enchantments. A glace was enough to tell Tommy that their own was not so well off. 

“Listen, Tommy. Just give me the disc, and I won’t kill Tubbo.” Dream’s smile was practically inviting. It was the same face he used when he told Tommy they were friends during exile. His feigned compassion only made Tommy angrier. 

“You can’t kill Tubbo, we’re in full netherite!” Tommy spat the words. “You know what, fuck you!!!” 

With that Tommy spun, sprinting full speed towards the ender chest. He slid in beside it, placed his hand on the latch—

A shriek of pain tore through the air. The world whirled as Tommy spun, faster than he would have thought possible. 

“TOMMY!!!” Tubbo screamed his name, fear and pain making his voice rough. 

“Tommy, he’s gonna die! He’s gonna die Tommy!” Dream cackled the words gleefully. 

“NO!! STOP!! STOP!!” Where were they? Tommy ran back towards the hillside, pure panic flooding his brain. “Tubbo where are you?!” 

“By where Dream was— Dream! Please Dream!!” Tubbo’s voice cut out with another gasping cry of pain. Tommy slid as he turned the corner to see around a wall of rock. 

“I could kill him Tommy.” Tommy froze. Dream’s voice sent an icy chill down his veins. But what he saw made him even more afraid. 

Tubbo was pinned against the rock face, gasping with tears running down his face, the pointed hook of Dream’s axe holding him in place. The point dug into his torso, splintering through weakened armor, Dream casually shifted the weapon to look at Tommy, cruelly ignoring how Tubbo cried out at the movement. 

“I can kill him if I want.” Dream casually took a swig of an unknown potion with his unoccupied hand. “But listen, Tommy, this is your choice.”

With no further adieu Dream stepped away from the wall, pulling his weapon free in a careless movement. As he slung the axe over his shoulder he gestured broadly, giving Tommy plenty of space to get to Tubbo. Tommy hated that Dream was in control, that he felt so goddamn self-assured in his own power that he would let them heal. 

Still, Tommy rushed to Tubbo immediately. He dropped to his friend’s side, Tubbo having slid down the wall once the pressure was removed, hands pulling away broken armor to evaluate the wound. Tubbo winced but looked up strongly, undoubtedly still having all sorts of beneficial potions in his system. The puncture wasn’t very deep, but it was jagged and awkward, Tubbo bit his lip as Tommy poured a healing potion onto it. 

Immediately flesh started to knit back together, but it wouldn’t heal instantly, even with Tubbo chugging a couple regen potions to help it along. As soon as he was sure Tubbo would be alright Tommy stood back to face Dream. He glared venomously at the older man.

If looks could kill, Dream would have died on the spot.

As it was Dream only chuckled lightly. 

Tommy hated it.

* * *

Tubbo forced himself to his feet alongside Tommy. 

He would stand beside Tommy. His wound twinged fiercely with the movement, but Tubbo bit back a gasp of pain. Already it was healing, though he had used his last health potions to do it. Still, he used one arm to keep a clump of cloth pressed to the injury, no good in losing more blood while it finished closing up. 

He watched Tommy’s hands form tight fists at his sides, shaking with anger. Dream spoke up before he could express it.

“Aright, I want you to make a choice Tommy. You’ve had plenty of time. Chose between your disc, or Tubbo.”

Oh. Well. That was… honestly not that surprising. This did seem like the sort of thing Dream would come up with. 

“What?! No, no I’ve got the disc, I’m not giving it too you! I’ll fight you to the death if you try to take it from me!” Tommy spoke with the sort of unbridled passion Tubbo admired him for. Dream wasn’t having it.

“You know I’m not gonna kill _you_.” His voice was sickeningly sweet. Tubbo almost gagged on the way he drew out the word, one hand gently extended to Tommy like an invitation. “But Tubbo…”

Tubbo’s view was blocked as Tommy stepped in front of him, shield held up high, protecting both of them.

“Stop.” 

Tubbo sighed as Dream started laughing again. Really this whole arrogant thing was getting old. Maybe that was an odd thought to have while two people bargained for your life, but Tubbo wasn’t feeling particularly invested in the discussion.

“Do you really think you can protect him? Really Tommy? I’ve got stacks and stacks of ender pearls, golden apples, even xp bottles to heal the enchantments on my armor. I could kill both of you, easily.”

Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off before he could really protest.

“I haven’t even really tried yet!” Dream sounded elated. Tubbo saw Tommy’s shoulders tense. 

“What do you want?” The words were spoken between gritted teeth.

“Just give me the disk Tommy.” 

So patronizing. Really, Dream sounded like an absolute asshole, though Tubbo wasn’t exactly going to say it while his life was hanging in the balance. Instead he drew his own shield, finally confident his stomach wound wasn’t about to open up again. 

He hated how Dream was speaking to Tommy, calling him powerless… The man ranted as Tommy stood stiff as a board, only his hair moving as the breeze blew it back and forth. Tubbo reached forward to take his free hand in his own. 

“Okay Tommy, I feel like I’ve given you way too much time. Either Tubbo dies, or you give me the disc.” There was a pregnant pause, Tubbo thought even the birds seemed to grow silent, all nature stilling as the three men on the mountaintop awaited a single choice. 

**“Ten.”** The single word seemed to release the hold, everything rushing back into focus all at once. 

Tommy turned to him, eyes wide.

“Can we make a run for it?” 

Tubbo could only shake his head solemnly, trying to force his face into a thin-lipped smile. He had no ender pearls, and no more speed potions. 

**“Nine.”**

“Tubbo, what do I do?” Tommy grabbed his forearm desperately, light blue eyes seeking answers in his. “I don’t want you to die.”

**“Eight.”**

They were here for the discs. They were here so Tommy could have the closure, the victory he so desperately needed. That was important! More important than…

Worth more…

**“Seven.”**

“Keep the disc Tommy, keep the disc!” Tubbo forced his face into a reasonable facsimile of certainty. He meant it. Tommy should just keep the disc, there was a still a chance he could escape anyway, and if he didn’t… well…

Tubbo’s mind whispered a continuous phrase, spun so often it felt like truth: _No great loss._

**“Six.”**

“Why?! That’s not—”

“It’ll be worth it!!” 

_The discs were worth more than you ever were._

**“Five.”**

“No!” Tommy grabbed his shoulders, shaking him roughly. 

Tubbo looked back up, for once his fire matching Tommy’s in intensity. 

“Tommy keep the disc! I’m fine! I’ve—I’ve done enough in my life!” 

**“Four.”**

_Destroyed a nation. Sent away a friend to suffer in exile. Enough._

Tommy searched his face in disbelief. Tubbo looked back boldly. There was nothing to hide, he meant what he was saying. 

**“Three.”**

“I’ve done enough. It’s fine, keep the disc.” 

**“Two.”**

Tommy pulled away from him, again stepping forward to face Dream head on. Tubbo reached out to stop him once he saw what his best friend intended. He was too slow, mentally he berated some latent survival instinct, forcing him to hesitate.

**“One.”**

Tommy held out the disc, willingly allowing Dream to remove it from his hand, though his other hand remained clenched at his side. 

“Thank you.” Dream smirked. Tubbo scowled back, though he was ignored. “Wow. I didn’t think it would be that easy.” 

“I mean… this isn’t even really the disc.” In a single motion Dream snapped the disc in half, seeming to be fueled by how Tommy gasped. “All this, and you didn’t even have the real disc! This was just a fake, I could have just let you walk away with it! But this just shows how powerless you are!” 

Dream shouted in Tommy’s face, Tubbo watched his best friend start to tremble. 

“I was just playing with you!!!”

Dream was playing with Tommy, not him, his life was the same as the discs, just pawn for Dream to move around and threaten. 

Tubbo didn’t object. This was normal, this was right. He would stand beside Tommy.

This was Tommy’s game to win or lose.

* * *

No. Not this. Not…

Powerless. Helpless. 

Tommy bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. 

Dream snickered lightly, pulling out a shovel and—

“No!” Tommy shouted protests before Dream had even finished digging the hole. He knew the intention. He knew the message Dream was trying to send. 

It was the same, always the same. Dream had control, Dream had power, 

Tommy was back on a beach, far away from home. The air tasted like brine, bitter on his tongue. He had been sent away, cast out at Dream’s bidding. Dream was his… friend. He wasn’t—he was. Dream was in control. 

“Put your things in the hole Tommy.” 

Tommy moved on instinct, every part of him shaking. It was the same. Powerless as ever, nothing had changed. 

A hand grabbed his arm, halting him before he could remove his armor. 

“Tommy?” He glanced downwards, eyes taking a moment to focus. There was Tubbo. Tubbo was there with him. He wasn’t alone. 

He knew the truth. He knew Dream wasn’t his friend. That was different. 

“You won’t kill me.” There. That was different too. Tommy stood his ground, glowering at the man in front of him. 

Suddenly the hand on his arm vanished. In a flash Tubbo was on the ground, feet swept out from under him by a single swing of the shovel. Dream held the blade of his axe against his throat, the edge digging in enough for Tommy to see blood. 

“All of them.” And then Tommy had nothing. 

Moments later Tubbo was equally disarmed. They stood together, shivering and vulnerable. 

“No…” Tommy whispered as Dream dropped a handful of TNT into the hole. Tommy shielded his face from the explosion, the flying rocks stung as they pinged off his bare skin, blown away by the force of the blast. 

For a moment he stood in shock. 

This was never supposed to happen again. He never wanted to feel this… helpless… ever again. Yet here he was, standing over a crater, the smell of gunpowder all too familiar. The mountain wind blew the smoke away quickly, revealing only the charred remains of the things he had spent day after day working for. 

Tubbo clung close to his side, the presence reassuring. He wasn’t alone with Dream. Tommy didn’t know if he could bear it… not if Tubbo wasn’t there. 

“Okay, well. I’ll take you to the real disks now.” Dream had slipped his mask back on while Tommy wasn’t looking. Now the man was even more unreadable, even more smug as the simple smile seemed to grow, dotted eyes peering at Tommy where he trembled. 

“Why?” Tubbo spoke up softly, hesitantly questioning the man who now held him in his power.

Dream didn’t grace him with a response. In fact, the masked man didn’t even acknowledge the question, instead opting to turn away.

“Follow me.” It was a command. Tommy knew the threat by now. He followed. 

Tommy clasped his hand in Tubbo’s tightly as they walked. There was no telling what would happen now. No way of knowing what Dream would do now that they were entirely at his mercy. But they were together and that was more than Tommy had had in exile. He absently wondered if Tubbo knew how much his presence was holding him together. 

He didn’t have long to think on it.

Dream walked up to a bare stone wall and pressed his hand against it. As he pushed Tommy saw the outline of a door, built flawlessly into the natural rock formation. Dream stepped back and shoved them inside. The room was more of a cave, clearly dug out by hand. The most notable feature was a square on the floor, made of blackstone and obsidian, that seemed to be the centerpiece.

“How… What?” Genuinely, this seemed like such a random location, how could Dream have prepared this?

“Really Tommy, still confused? I’ve been one step ahead of you the whole time. The whole time!!” Dream discarded his mask, letting it hang around his neck. Tommy scoffed but still stiffened in fear when Dream reached out, grabbing Tubbo’s shoulder. “Tubbo here thought I was his friend. What an idiot, right?” 

Tubbo ducked backwards as Dream roughly mussed his hair, the overly familiar gesture sinister in this context. Tommy sidestepped between them.

“You thought I was your friend too Tommy. I made sure no one showed up to your party just so I would be the only friend you had!” 

“Well yeah! You told us you were our friend.” Tommy voice weakened. Dream gestured for them to step onto the platform. 

“I’ve always been a step ahead of you.” The ground beneath their feet shifted, a grinding squeal tore through the air, like nature was crying out in protest for what occurred in its midst. The platform sank into the ground. 

Tommy gasped, forgetting to keep Dream away from Tubbo for a moment in his surprise. This was insane.

“I mean, the only reason I have the disc is because I framed Tommy. I blew up the community house, and you were dumb enough to believe it. You were dumb enough to give me the disc!” Tubbo seemed to shrink against the walls, shoulders slumping as he accepted Dream’s berating. Tommy just gaped at him openmouthed. Dream finally admitted it, he blew up his own community house, just to manipulate them. 

Tommy felt incredibly justified, he just wished everyone were here to hear it, he wished Sapnap was here. It wasn’t him! His elation was cut off by Dream’s continued rambling. 

“You’ve always been a thorn in my side Tommy.” 

The platform seated itself in the matching floor with a resounding thud. Dream led the way off of it. 

Tommy found himself in a large room, a cave dug out of the earth, blackstone walls rising almost out of sight. The opposite wall was dominated by a massive nether portal, purple magic swirling in mesmerizing circles.

“The discs…” Tubbo’s whisper drew Tommy’s attention to the obvious. One either side of the portal was a podium, lit like a museum exhibit, marked by gold and lavish tapestries. Huge woven designs framed the items, the stylized discs hanging behind the real thing. Tommy crossed the room without thinking. 

He stared down onto the podium. The discs were there. Right there, right within reach… his discs….

“I could just take them, right now…”

Dream followed him to the exhibits, casually leaning over his shoulder. 

“Yeah, you could. But then Tubbo would die.” 

Tubbo.

Tommy spun, rushing to where his friend stood a few feet away. He drew Tubbo close to his side, glaring daggers at Dream for daring to threaten him again. Both of them walked to the other podium, staring with wide eyes at the second disc. Tubbo tilted his head, looking distractedly down another hall. 

“What’s down there?”

“Oh that, well Tommy, despite all our disagreements, you have taught me something.” Dream gestured for them to walk ahead of him, Tommy was well aware that the other man was keeping himself between them and the portal. “You taught me the importance of attachments. I realized, because of your discs, that if I control what people care about, I control the people.” 

The hallway was wide, each side covered in a row of shelving and racks, meticulously labeled. Dream reverently laid the Axe of Peace on one such weapon rack before continuing on down the hall. Tommy recognized names of precious things, an aquarium that held a tropical fish, labeled Beckerson, was obviously Sapnap’s. Some empty animal pens had names hug overtop, places for beloved pets and precious items adorned every available space. 

“You’re a sick bastard Dream.” Tommy snarled as they came to the end of their impromptu tour, a small stall labeled Carl served as a dead end. 

“Maybe.” Dream voiced no real disagreement, pridefully adjusting certain items and dusting off nameplates. Most of the spots were empty, including…

Tommy stepped up to a small cage, iron bars across the front. Tubbo trembled at his side, obviously uncomfortable with even seeing such a familiar sight.

“Skeppy? What the fuck?!” Tommy voiced the name with disbelief. Surely Dream couldn’t be planning on imprisoning a person here? That went so far beyond—

“Oh, yeah. Well, he’s the only thing Bad cares about.” That was sick and wrong. The longer Tommy stared at Dream’s face the more he realized just how far gone the other was. For all his eloquence Dream was nothing more than a madman. A powerful madman. 

“You’re a fucking lunatic!” Tommy stepped forward, sudden boldness filling him. He pointed a finger at Dream accusingly, ignoring Tubbo’s grip on his arm when the other boy tried to hold him back. “Why are we even here?!”

“Tommy, you’re important, okay? I think, with the proper motivation, you could be a worthy opponent for me.” 

Tommy turned and sprinted back down the hall, pulling Tubbo to run along with him. He focused on his target, hands grasping firmly around the handle of a familiar axe, pulling it from the wall. He held it up in a defensive stance just as Dream got close. Tommy wasn’t going to be Dream’s plaything. 

“Fuck you bitch! I won’t just be your entertainment, I’ll make you fight me here and now or—” Tommy stopped short as Dream dashed past him. Then Tubbo yelped. Tommy started to shake as his best friend was shoved against a stone wall, arm bleeding from Dream’s attack. 

“No! Okay! Okay…” Tommy tossed the axe back in its place and dipped his head. Dream looked annoyed.

“I don’t think you understand Tommy. I need _you_ alive, not Tubbo.”

* * *

Tubbo clasped a hand to his bleeding arm, gash torn through the sleeve by the half-hearted swing of Dream’s axe. It wasn’t too deep, but it didn’t need to be. Dream had proven his point. 

Tubbo could have cried as Tommy put the axe back on the wall. 

His friend looked absolutely destroyed, worn down by Dream’s unending cruelty. Tubbo tried to catch his eye, tried to force a smile. 

“I’m okay Tommy.” The blond looked up slightly, only briefly scanning Tubbo before fixing back on Dream. 

For his part, Dream mirrored Tommy’s attention. One hand rested on Tubbo’s shoulder, keeping him in place against the wall, keeping him threatened. The other held his axe, relaxed as he swung it lightly at his side. When he spoke it was to Tommy.

“Listen, Tubbo isn’t fun. Tubbo’s a pawn.” Tubbo tried to ignore the words, ignore how his own inner voice repeated them as truth. “He’s a follower, and I’ve already used him as much as I can.” 

The words echoed against hard stone on every side. Tubbo felt his mind closing in, trapped within a box of self-hatred. Dream wasn’t wrong. 

“No!” Tommy moved froward, stopping just shy of where Dream stood. “No, he’s not a follower! He’s the president!” 

Tubbo looked up, startled. Tommy was speaking up in his defense. No one had done that in… well… not in as long as Tubbo could remember.

“Sure, some president, second to Quackity and Ranboo and everyone else who told him what to do. We’ve been over this, he’s just a follower!” 

He didn’t deserve to be defended. Dream was right, he was weak and… Tommy’s voice briefly overcame his inner narrative. 

“No he’s not a fucking follower!!!” The tall boy shoved Dream away, pushing his own body between them. Tubbo felt tears start to form in his eyes, pooling as he held back from sniffling.

“You need Tubbo as much as you need me!” 

Tommy’s shoulders heaved with his righteous fury. Tubbo was so grateful to see his friend had stopped shaking. But he knew from the expression on Dream’s face that Tommy was mistaken. Tubbo stepped away from the wall and took Tommy’s hand yet again. 

“You’re wrong Tommy, I don’t need Tubbo at all.” Dream shook his head almost sadly, like a disappointed teacher whose student wasn’t listening. 

“No! Without Tubbo what am I?” 

Tubbo was just as surprised at the declaration as any person could have been. He looked up to his best friend’s face, disbelieving. Surely Tommy didn’t mean that… he had screwed up so much. He had sent Tommy away to be abused by the madman they both faced. He had failed Tommy and everyone who ever called L’Manburg home. Tubbo felt as inconsequential as Dream wished him to be.

But Tommy had said… Tommy cared. His friend looked serious; an undertone of fear could be seen in his eyes as he held Tubbo’s hand tightly enough to bruise. 

Tubbo dipped his head, tears blurring his vision. 

Tommy didn’t see him a pawn. Even if that’s how he saw himself.

* * *

“Well, Tommy you want to be a hero, right?”

Tommy clutched Tubbo close, glaring daggers at the man in front of him. Tubbo mattered, they were best friends, it was them against the world. How dare Dream say differently! How fucking dare he!

Tommy ignored the question, sparing a glance down at his friend. Tubbo looked so… surprised when he defended him. The taller boy couldn’t help but wonder if it was partially his fault that Tubbo seemed to accept Dream’s assertions of his value. His ruminations were brought to a halt as Dream snapped his fingers, chuckling wryly.

“Are you listening Tommy? I think you’ll love this next part.” The man shifted and returned his axe to his hip, as if settling in to tell a story. 

“You think you can be the hero of this world Tommy, just like Technoblade said? Well that’s fine by me! Though… I do think Technoblade got one thing wrong.” Tommy winced at the mention, reminded of betrayal and withers raining destruction from the sky.

"Technoblade said you were Theseus, but that's not what I want. I can't have you dying in disgrace Tommy!! What’s the fun in that? So, I say we change the story, what do you know about Achilles?" Dream strode forward, lifting his hands dramatically as he spoke. "You see, Achilles had a friend, a best friend named Partoculus. They were comrades, fought alongside each other through every obstacle. But it wasn't until Partoculus died, slain by their greatest enemy, that Achilles reached his full potential."

Tommy’s blood ran colder than ice. 

“No…” 

“I need you to be Achilles, Tommy.” Gently, almost comfortingly, Dream laid a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Achilles had Partoculus, you can have Tubbo.”

“Absolutely fucking not!!” Tommy took a swing at Dream, forcing the green-eyed man to take a large step back. He instinctively tucked Tubbo behind him, eyes desperately scanning for an escape. The main room opened up before them, elevator ascending into the sky on one side, portal and discs on the other. 

“I’m being serious Tommy. I’ll give you a chance to say goodbye—”

“No! Dream, listen, okay?” Tommy pushed further towards the center of the room, pulling Tubbo with him. Still Dream positioned himself in front of the portal. 

“Dream.” Tommy felt a sharp ache in his heart as he prepared to give up on something precious. The discs meant something, they always had. But they weren’t more important, whatever he had said in anger, they weren’t worth more than Tubbo. “You can have the discs okay, keep them for now, I’ll do whatever you say, just let me and Tubbo go.” 

Tommy’s hopes were crushed as Dream shook his head, the small movement enough to send a new wave of fear crashing down on his shoulders. 

“That’s the problem with you now Tommy. You’ve had all this _growth_ , all this personal development bullshit!” Dream rolled his eyes and scoffed heavily. “You’ve matured too much. I can’t just control you with the discs anymore, and this proves it. So, say your goodbyes.”

No. This can’t be real, this can’t be happening. Tommy’s mind raced faster than he knew was possible.

“NO! Fuck you! You green son of a bitch!!!” Tommy lunged forward, swinging wildly at the older man. He bared his teeth in a rabid manner, screaming curses as he tried to hurt Dream. He wanted to hurt him, to stop him from—

“Tommy.” Dream dodged easily, ducking every blow with a casual flair. Tommy grunted as the other man’s fist connected with his ribs, a firm hand grabbing at his collar when he keeled over. “Tommy! Are you really going to miss the chance to say goodbye to your best friend?!” 

Tubbo. Dream held Tommy semi-upright, facing him towards where Tubbo stood a few feet away. Tommy was almost disturbed to see how calm his friend was. He shook himself free from Dream.

“You won’t!”

“I will Tommy. I am going to kill him. You can keep denying if you want, keep fighting me, but then you’ll lose out. He’ll die and you’ll regret forever that you didn’t say goodbye.” Dream spoke with such certainty. Tommy…

He was serious. 

Tommy flung himself to Tubbo’s side. 

This couldn’t be happening.

* * *

Tubbo wasn’t surprised to learn he was going to die. 

It seemed… right. It made sense. 

He didn’t like seeing Tommy so upset though. 

As Tommy rushed to him, grabbing his shoulders, Dream stepped a bit away, giving them some space. Tubbo thought it was oddly respectful of him to give them a private moment. 

“He’s not going to kill you, alright? He’s not going to fucking kill you!” Tommy was furious fire, but Tubbo didn’t flinch away from the heat, he never had before. He just gave his best friend a small smile and listened as he started scheming, words pouring out of his mouth like a torrent of desperation. “I say we make a break for the portal, we can rush in and get to the other base—”

“No… we’d be dead before we reached the portal.” Tubbo glanced around his friend’s shoulder, eyeing where Dream stood. “Too much of a distance.” 

They would never make it. Tubbo knew it, and he could tell Tommy knew it too by the way he glared at the space between them and it, as if offended by the very concept of distance itself. Tommy stammered, out of air for a moment. Tubbo gently took his hands in his own, wincing as he moved his injured arm. 

“It’s alright. We’ve had some laughs, it was fun, while it lasted…” Tubbo thought of the trip that morning. It felt like so long ago that they had been laughing and joking together. He was sad that he would never get to make Tommy laugh like that again. 

“Why have you just accepted it? Don’t just accept it!” Tommy raised his eyebrows pleadingly, voice breaking. Tubbo just kept smiling. He had accepted it. He had accepted it from the moment Dream first threatened his life. He had accepted it even before they left that morning. 

“We’ve been backed into a corner Tommy.” 

“No! Tubbo, we don’t just accept defeat alright? We never do!” Tommy was as passionate as ever, he grabbed Tubbo’s shoulders and shook him, as if trying to get him to see sense. 

But Tubbo could see how this would end. He gently tried to get Tommy to understand.

“We have nowhere to go Tommy. We don’t have pickaxes, the elevator is gone, we would be dead before we reached the portal.” Tommy continued to spit protests, Tubbo saw tears starting to form in his friend’s blue eyes. “Tommy, Tommy… Dream said I am like a pawn, well, this is checkmate Tommy.”

Tommy sniffed, eyes blown wide. Tubbo blinked rapidly, forcing his own tears away. Tubbo knew he had never been important, insignificant except for his screw-ups. He wasn’t worried about dying. But Tommy… he looked terrified, as if taking on enough fear for both of them. 

“This is it.” For a long moment they both stood entirely still, like statues frozen in a moment of pure grief and acceptance, juxtaposed for an eternity. 

“Tubbo, I know… since the beginning I’ve always treated you like a sidekick, but that’s not true. Tubbo, I’m your sidekick.” Tubbo gently shook his head, it just wasn’t true. But if Tommy thought he was important… maybe Tubbo could try to believe it for him. 

“Please don’t go.” Tubbo looked up and his heart broke anew. Tommy had tears running down his face, he valiantly held back from crying in full, but his breathing was growing ragged. Tubbo tossed himself forward, pulling his friend close in a last desperate hug. Tommy buried his face in Tubbo’s hair, begging him not to go, not to let this happen. 

There was nothing Tubbo could do. He just held his friend close, letting his own tears run and soak into Tommy’s familiar shirt. 

“It’s fine.” Tubbo murmured the words, trying to soothe Tommy’s pain. 

“No, it’s not fine! Tubbo, what am I without you?” Tubbo pulled himself away to look Tommy in the eyes, making sure he had his friend’s full attention before he spoke. 

“Yourself.” Tommy shook his head now, trying to pull Tubbo back close to him. Tubbo stubbornly refused. 

“You’re yourself, Tommy. No matter what Dream or Technoblade say, you’re not a myth or legend. You’re Tommy, and you get to make your own choices, whether I’m there or not.” 

“Tubbo, please…”

“It’s time.” Dream’s voice rang clear in the cavern, a stark counter to Tommy’s broken tone. 

“You’re not Theseus or Achilles. You’re Tommy, and—” Tubbo’s voice finally broke, emotion shattering the numbness. “and you’re my best friend.”

Tubbo pulled his hands away and walked towards Dream.

* * *

Tommy clutched his hands helplessly to his chest as Tubbo walked away. 

“Please, Tubbo, please don’t go…” Tommy felt disconnected from the voice that spoke the pleading words. He was aware it was his own, but all he knew was Tubbo, and Tubbo was halfway across the room, midway between him and Dream.

Tubbo stopped walking, seeming to nod at Dream before turning back towards Tommy. Every muscle in Tommy’s body pleaded for him to rush to him, to protect him, to not let his best friend die so easily. Tubbo smiled despite the tears running softly down his cheeks. 

“Goodbye Tommy.” 

Tommy got one step forward before a CLICK resounded through the space, ringing against the walls and in Tommy’s ears. It was followed by a clatter as the newly bloodied arrow hit the ground somewhere out of sight. Tubbo dropped to his knees; Tommy was aware of some feral scream tearing out from his throat as he dove to catch him before he hit the ground. 

“TUBBO!!” Tommy shrieked as he grabbed his friend, pulling him up to cradle against his chest. There was so much blood, too much blood, Tommy uselessly pressed a single hand to Tubbo’s chest where the arrow had exited. Just above his heart. 

“Tubbo, please don’t go, don’t leave me! Please don’t go.” Tommy sobbed as he clutched Tubbo, trying to believe this was all some cruel trick, another lie Dream was spinning for his own sick amusement. 

Tubbo gasped and shuddered once, then went still. 

The air was motionless in the room underground, Tommy quieted, trying to listen for any signs of life. 

There was nothing to hear besides his own ragged breathing. The blood slowed, no longer having a heartbeat to push it along. Tommy sobbed into Tubbo’s hair. 

There was a long time where they sat like that, Tommy curled around Tubbo on the unfeeling stone floor, soaking in a puddle of rapidly cooling blood. Tommy was certain his world stopped the moment Tubbo’s heart did. Surely… this just couldn’t be… This wasn’t the plan. 

So caught up in his grief, Tommy missed the whirl of the nether portal activating until new boots clattered on the stone. 

“I’m sorry Dream.”

“Punz? What are you doing here?” Dream sounded confused, the new tone drawing Tommy’s attention enough to listen. He still didn’t look up, held down by the oppressive weight of Tubbo’s silent stillness. 

“You should have paid me more.” The room echoed as the portal whirled again and again. There were more footsteps now, all different sounds and weights, filling the space with sound and motion. Tommy flinched as several pairs rapidly ran towards him. They all passed him by.

“Dream, step away from them!” Tommy heard the all-too familiar clang of sword meeting shield. He raised his head enough to become aware of what was happening. 

“You fucked up Dream.” Quackity’s voice was unmistakable. But a whole swath of bodies now blocked the space between Tommy and Dream, forming a protective wall. Someone knelt beside Tommy, softly reaching out a hand to probe at Tubbo. 

“Tubbo?” The voice sounded so hopeful. Tommy couldn’t meet Ranboo’s eyes. 

“He’s gone.” Tommy took a deep breath. “Tubbo’s gone. Dream fucking—he fucking killed him.” Murmurs filled the room, several voices shouting out at once, one finally rose above the cacophony. 

“Dream? Is this… is this true?” Sapnap sounded devastated, like he didn’t want to believe someone who had once been his friend was capable of this. 

Dream gave no answer. That was answer enough. 

“Can someone…” Tommy tried to make his voice stronger as he straightened on the floor, holding Tubbo up helplessly. It didn’t feel right to just lay him on the ground. Immediately someone was at Tommy’s side, gently taking Tubbo and drawing the smaller boy to his chest, torn expression visible despite the dark sunglasses they wore. Tommy nodded solemnly at Eret, trusting Tubbo to his care for the time being. 

Tommy stood, swaying slightly, ignoring how several people gasped at the blood covering his clothes. Let them all see what Dream had done. The man himself was cornered, standing in the center of his own sick trophy hall. Tommy stepped forward fearlessly, lightly patting Sapnap on the shoulder as he passed him. 

“Can I borrow a pickaxe?” Tommy casually spun the tool in his hands, walking up to Dream with confidence born from understanding. Dream had spent all that time making sure Tommy understood what he was after, and for once Tommy had listened. “I know you’re not gonna kill me.” 

A passive white mask stared back, refastened when the group appeared from the portal. Tommy continued to move closer, relishing as Dream took a half-step backwards. 

“Yeah, you son of a bitch, you told me everything. You said I’m too important to kill, so I know you won’t do it.” Tommy numbly dug a hole in the floor, ignoring the confused murmurs behind him. “Put all your things in the hole Dream.” 

The two stood facing off for a long moment. Tommy didn’t even bother to glare or bluster, he knew what was going to happen. For once, Dream wasn’t in control. Somewhere in the back of his mind Tommy screamed for his friend, but he had run out of tears for now, shock and exhaustion together forcing him forward. Eventually Dream obeyed. 

Tommy waited until all the man’s belongings, armor and all, were sitting in a shallow pit. 

There was something approaching satisfaction in seeing the situation reversed. It was dull, but Tommy enjoyed it as much as he could.

“I’ll be taking this.” Tommy stooped, swiping up Dream’s axe and hefting it in his hands. “You killed Tubbo… you’ve caused us nothing but pain, and now it’s your turn.” The axe was imbedded deep in Dream’s chest before anyone had time to react, including Dream himself. The masked man staggered backwards, coughing roughly with his hands clasped to the bloody dent above his heart. 

He dropped before the count of ten, rattling a death throe before fading away into sparkling mist. 

“Where is he? Does anyone know?” Tommy turned, feeling anger start to burn in his chest, righteous vengeance for what this man had done. Punz slowly stepped forward, giving Sapnap a slight apologetic look before he spoke.

“Yeah, his spawn is set up there, we can go grab him before he’s able to run away.”

“Please do.” Tommy watched as Punz, Badboyhalo, and AweSamdude called down the platform and rode it up, giving him sympathetic looks as they did. Tommy didn’t want their sympathy. 

“You all really came.” The blond surprised himself as he spoke up, addressing the group gathered together in front of him. He tried not to look at Eret, the tall figure holding Tubbo’s body gently in their arms, cradled delicately. If Tommy only glanced it almost looked like Tubbo was sleeping, but he knew better.

He knew.

“Punz told us some of the shit Dream had planned, and we couldn’t just fucking let you two—let you deal with it alone.” Quackity realized his mistake a moment too late, hastily amending his words and ducking his head. Tommy nodded at him passively. 

The elevator groaned as it returned with its passengers. 

Dream tore his arms away from the men around him, stepping off the platform and stomping over in front of Tommy. Tommy stood his ground, Dream was unarmed and unarmored. He wasn’t a threat. 

“Did you have your fun? Huh Tommy? Did you enjoy that?” Dream snarled at him, looming as if he expected Tommy to cower. Tommy felt the weight of people behind him, he felt the dynamic shift. 

“Yeah, I did Dream. And now I’m gonna do it again.” Tommy had spent part of the time while Dream respawned reloading his own crossbow, he felt the corner of his mouth twitch upward as Dream shied away. 

“No you won’t, you already killed me once Tommy, you aren’t going to do it again.” Despite his confident words, Dream fidgeted, shuffling his weight from foot-to-foot uneasily. 

“Or what? You’ve got two lives left Dream, why shouldn’t I kill you right now?” Tommy spoke flatly. He was going to kill Dream either way. 

“This is _my_ world!” 

Wrong answer.

A click of the arrow releasing was followed by silence as Dream collapsed to the floor. It was a surprisingly quiet affair for all the dramatics Dream had put into it. Tommy felt a hand gently touch his shoulder.

“Hey, Tommy. Are you going to kill him again?” Sapnap looked at him with dark eyes, filled with conflict and pain. “It’s up to you either way, but I wanted to tell you Sam does have a prison prepared. It’s unescapable from what I’ve heard.” 

Tommy was surprised to find he didn’t resent the interruption. He watched the elevator move agonizingly slowly as he thought about it. He answered the question completely honestly.

“I don’t know.” 

When Dream reached the open hall once again, gasping slightly from the pain of respawning twice so quickly, Tommy didn’t really have a plan. He let the man stumble forward, putting out an arm to stop him in front of the group. 

“Tell them everything Dream.” Tommy raised the axe to the masked man’s neck. “Take your mask off and tell them what you did, what you planned!” 

Slowly, hesitantly, Dream reached up and pulled his mask off his face. Tommy glared into those stubborn green eyes, still filled with a sort of tired confidence. Dream tilted his head, not betraying any emotions. Good. Let them all see how little you care.

“What do you want me to say Tommy?” 

“Tell them all about the community house, about what that hallway is for!” Tommy lifted the edge of the axe to his throat. “Or I’ll kill you.” 

Dream sighed heavily. “I blew up the community house.” Several people gasped, Sapnap took a step back, dark eyes wide.

“What else? Tell them everything.”

“What do you want me to say Tommy? That I’m gathering power, that I have plans to regain _my_ power that was taken away from me?!” Dream was so self-righteous, even now, at the edge of a blade and on his final life, he didn’t see anything wrong with what he’d done. People murmured as Dream looked on, completely passive.

“Tell them about what you did in exile! No one—no one knows what you did to me. Tell them every manipulative and fucked up thing you did!” Tommy fought back tears as he spoke, trying not to remember a time he thought this man was his only friend. Dream closed his mouth in a thin line.

“Tell them or I’ll kill you right now with your own axe!!” Tommy took heaving breaths, why shouldn’t he kill Dream? After everything he had done… after Tubbo…

“You’re not going to kill me Tommy. Because, listen, just like you said I’m not gonna kill you, you’re not gonna kill me.” Dream smirked, somehow recovering enough to look smug yet again. Tommy scoffed in his face.

“Why would I not kill you?”

“Because Tommy, we have so much fun, you and me. We’ve got our war, our rivalry, it’s always been between you and me.” Tommy gasped openmouthed. Really? It’s all about their fight huh? Is that what this was all for? Dream was…

Out of his goddamn mind.

“That’s where you’re wrong Dream. You’re caught up in this whole thing, making it me versus you, the hero versus the villain.” Tommy stepped forward, dropping the axe to his side. “You care about me so much you wouldn’t even kill me if I handed you this axe right now. But I don’t care!” 

Tommy shook his head, twisting his face into exaggerated pity, enjoying how Dream’s face turned to anger in response. 

“I don’t give a single fuck about you Dream! That’s how we’re different. You need me to have what you want, but I don’t need you.” Tommy took a deep choking breath. His eyes filled with tears when he realized what he needed to say. “Tubbo was right. I’m not Theseus or Achilles, I’m Tommy Innit and I don’t need your overdramatic bullshit to live my life.” 

Dream opened his mouth, tight fury expressed in how his fists were clenched, shaking by his sides. Tommy couldn’t care less. 

“Though you’re right about one thing. I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to let them do whatever they want with you.” Tommy turned away, putting Dream at his back and scanning the crowd until he spotted Eret. Sam and Punz moved to Dream behind him, preparing to take him away to whatever jail they had devised. Tommy tossed a last phrase over his shoulder. 

“I’ll let you live, because you’re so unimportant to me that it doesn’t even matter if you’re alive.” 

* * *

As Tommy started walking away, the world seemed to slow. 

He fixed himself on where Tubbo lay in Eret’s arms, one goal in mind. 

The shout behind him echoed, a warning that seemed so far away, muffled as if through deep water. 

Tommy turned too slowly to make a difference; his limbs moved like molasses. He recognized the fury in Dream’s eyes, pure rage at being dismissed so easily. He saw the glint of a stolen sword in Dream’s hand. 

At least he would be with Tubbo.

The blow never came. Tommy expected pain, but instead there was just a slight shove and a whirl of movement. 

“I’m sorry Dream, I can’t let you hurt anyone else.” 

Tommy found himself staring at Sapnap’s back, armor only a hand’s width away from his face. He slowly stepped to the side, peering around with more curiosity than caution. Sapnap’s hands were shaking on the hilt of his sword, Dream stared fiercely into his eyes, as if uncomprehending. The only sound in the entire cavern was the drip of blood as it slipped off the blade and hit the stone. 

The sword Dream had been holding clattered to the ground.

Dream gasped openmouthed, hands uselessly grabbing at the blade piercing through his chest, point visible from where it extruded from his back. Tommy saw Sapnap’s eyes fill with tears. In a swift movement the sword was withdrawn and the charade of life was ended. Dream collapsed in a heap on the floor. Sapnap kneeled beside him, crying silently for the man he once knew. 

Tommy turned back around and continued on, all the voices muddling into nonsense around him. He reached out a hand and gently touched Tubbo’s arm. He was cold. There was something… wrong… with how Tubbo looked now. Even if he couldn’t have seen the blood Tommy was sure he would have known he was gone. 

He held out his arms as Eret willingly passed him back the body of his best friend. 

“Let’s go home.” 

* * *

It was the dawn of another day when the strange procession walked up the prime path.

Almost twenty-four hours since they had left that morning, filled with hope. 

The somber group was led by a young man, barely more than a child in age, but much older in experience. In his arms was cradled another boy, gone far before his time. 

The leader murmured to him, softly whispering comforts that would never be heard. 

“Look Tubbo, I thought I’d never see any of this again, but here we are.” 

Tommy was numb. His mind had yet to accept the new shape of reality forming around him. Even the weight in his arms didn’t spark the emotion he thought it should, but Tommy wasn’t unfamiliar with grief and the unexpected forms it can take. He had loved and lost before, and he knew the pain would come.

The walk was slow, the boy was exhausted beyond belief. But still he kept on, unwilling to let anyone else take his friend from him. Not yet. Eventually they crested a hill, the early morning light still grey with the sun not yet embarking on its journey over the horizon. Several people stepped forward, giving Tommy serious nods with tears in their eyes as they started digging at the place he indicated. 

Tommy settled down on their bench, gently laying Tubbo so his head rested in his lap. 

“Tommy, here.” Tommy tipped his head to acknowledge the man at his elbow, mutely nodding as he held out a pair of discs. 

The music of Mellohi rang out as Tommy sat on the bench. 

One-by-one the people kneeled in front of them, silhouetted as the sun’s rays hit their backs, each taking a moment to pay their respects. Tommy watched the sunrise.

“I’m sorry I was too late.”

“You didn’t deserve this, never deserved any of this. You’re both just kids.” 

“I didn’t know.”

“I’m sorry for how I treated you Tubbo, you were a good president, the best you could fucking be all things considered.”

“I’ll remember you.”

Many just sobbed. 

Tommy tried to understand the new reality he was faced with. 

A world without Tubbo….

Someone offered a cloth, a shroud so Tubbo wouldn’t be buried directly in the dirt. Tommy waited to cover his head, looking at his face one last time. 

“Tubbo, you were always worth so much. So much more than the discs, than anything!” The tears were hot as they started to form in Tommy’s eyes, finally spilling his emotions. “You’re my best friend and I’ll miss you so much. So much.” Tommy let Tubbo be lifted from his lap, watching with blurred vision as he was lowered into the grave. 

Then Tommy broke. 

He sobbed helplessly into his hands as shovelfuls of dirt were dropped in, laying Tubbo to rest under the earth. 

“Please Tubbo, don’t leave me, don’t go.” Tommy wailed his grief into the sunrise until he had lost his voice and had no more tears to cry. He cried until the grave was finished, someone having even planted flowers on the new surface. The group had gradually disbanded, leaving to deal with or distract from their own grief however they could. Or almost everyone.

Tommy gradually became aware of someone crouched at his side, a hesitant hand reaching out to touch his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry Tommy. I know you probably hate me, but you need to drink some water…” Tommy heard Sapnap sniff, probably blinking away his own tears. He held out his hand for the glass bottle the older man offered to him. 

The cool liquid soothed his throat and Tommy found it easier to breathe. Words slipped from his mouth unbidden as he kneeled at his best friend’s grave. 

“It hurts so fucking much. It’s like part of me has been… torn out and burned.” Tommy was surprised when his eyes filled again, he would have thought he ran out of tears by now. He let them slide off his face and drip to the disturbed ground unhindered. 

“Yeah. I… yeah.” Sapnap’s voice sounded just as broken as his own.

“What do we do now?” Tommy unconsciously included the other man in his question, some part of him recognizing their shared pain. Their mirrored experiences as they knelt in front of a grave.

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you know what the worst part is?” Tommy clenched his hands in the dirt, squeezing them to tight fists. “Tubbo just… accepted it. He didn’t care that he was going to die. He really didn’t think he mattered and I—I’m just as responsible for that as anyone!” Tommy crumpled back into sobs, folding over as his arms tightened around his midsection. Sapnap had no comforting words to offer, he just rubbed circles on Tommy’s back slowly, occasionally reminding him to breathe. 

They stayed like that, lapsing in and out of silence, in and out of crying and sobs, for hours. When Tommy finally was too exhausted to sit upright he laid on his side next to the grave, sunshine warming him, too cheery for the occasion. But nature moved on, indifferent to the loss in its midst. 

Eventually Tommy’s eyelids became heavily with exhaustion and grief. They drifted shut despite his best efforts to remain on vigil. Still, before he drifted into sleep, Tommy murmured a last question to a friend who would never again draw breath to answer.

“What am I without you?” 

The words hung heavy in the air, Tommy started to drift, almost feeling as if he was rocking as exhaustion dragged him under. When he woke in the morning, safely tucked into his own bed, he wouldn’t know if he truly heard anything.

But in that moment, laying in the dirt, whether real or imagined, he knew the response was something he could trust. The only course of action he could follow. The voice or memory of one was painfully familiar, yet Tommy relaxed when he heard it, settling in heart and soul.

“Yourself.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This ended up being over twice as long as I originally intended.  
> I'm actually very pleased with how it turned out, especially some of those conversations....  
> I really hope you enjoyed... sorry for the pain.....
> 
> I LOVE comments and seeing peoples reaction to my work, so if you feel like leaving one, I would so appreciate it! <3  
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> \--R&T


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